Losing at Reality TV

Watching Survivor, 

fulfilling my role as the

couch's personal potato, 

I am convinced

I would

be the first

to hear those infamous words,

"the tribe has spoken",

and to

walk off in disgrace

at being

voted off

the

island.

I have

some, well,

limitations

that

preclude me from

winning 

on a reality show.

I don't have endurance,

or speed,

on land or sea.

I can't

start a fire, 

climb a tree,

balance on a board,

or solve puzzles quickly.

I am a ginger,

so sun seeks me out

to inflict punishment

in what I believe is

a personal vendetta against

red hair. 

And I talk.

A lot.

I am

a walking

target for

other players'

votes

to evict.

As I ponder 

my island fate,

I am really mad,

and a bit hurt,

at being 

kicked out

of the alliance.

My whole day is 

ruined.

Might as well

watch TV.